Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Has anyone out there had an IVF changed to an IUI because of their follicles not responding to the meds? Any success? I am hoping that this is a fixable problem. I took Menopur and Bravelle and ended up with one follicle fully mature about a week before egg retrieval was scheduled and about 6-7 smaller ones. Dr. said to try IUI and if that does not work we will change meds for next IVF attempt. I have never had a problem with my cycles...I ovulate, why now, with meds is my body only doing what it would do without meds.? I am a little heartbroken that the IVF was cancelled. We did the IUI on Saturday so now I have to wait the grueling 2 weeks to find out if it worked. Sigh.......

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Heart and Journey

I so needed this concert tonight! The day started out very tense. We had our 3rd IUI performed this morning and I tried my hardest to only think positive thoughts but I have been in that same position, literally, 2 other times. The Dr. says that my chances are twice as good this time because of the injections versus the Clomid. I laid on the table for about 15 minutes while we asked the Dr. alot of questions...all the while I was picturing what was SUPPOSED to be going on inside of me. How can this possibly not work?? Joe's count was HIGH...over 200 million (the Dr. even made a comment about how many there were, Joe puffed up a little)and I have one mature egg that has been triggered to release around that exact moment...come on...this has to work!!

We went home, both of us a little on edge and took a much needed nap. Then we went and picked up our friends Nikki and Drew and headed to the Heart/Journey/Cheap Trick concert. It was 97 degrees, not a cloud in the sky and the concert was sold out. Needless to say we were a little uncomfortable for a bit but it was soooooo worth it!!!!

Cheap Trick opened the show...I am not a huge fan so it was just okay for me, they played The Flame which was awesome. Then...what I have been waiting for for years...Ann and Nancy Wilson step on stage with the rest of Heart. Holy shit they were amazing. Ann Wilson sounds just like she does on CD...she sang every note perfectly. Her sister jammed on the guitar and sang one of my favorites from the
80's, These Dreams. But the best, by far, was hearing Magic Man, Barracuda, Crazy on You and Straight On live! I was in heaven, I had goose bumps the whole show..I LOVE HEART!!! I am so glad they decided to go on tour!

Then, the much anticipated Journey show.....can they possibly sound good without Steve Perry? It's hard to imagine but I was floored by the new lead singer, Arnel Pineda. He sounds like Steve Perry!!! In addition to some new songs from their album Revelations they sang Open Arms, Faithfully, Separate Ways, Wheel in the Sky, Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin, Lights and Any Way You Want It! The crowd was going crazy...you could hear the audience singing...then they played the song I had been waiting for. My friend Tania left a comment on a post about all of this fertility stuff and told me to think about the song 'Don't stop Believin' by Journey (she had no idea I was going to the concert)...after that I HAD to hear it. My friend Nikki that I was with has also been going through infertility for about 8 years...I told her what Tania said and when that song came on, at the very end of the show, we sang our hearts out! Joe grabbed my hand and joined in.

It was a great concert, I highly recommend seeing it. Hopefully, sperm and egg were becoming one during that awesome show. We will know in a few weeks so stay tuned.


Friday, July 25, 2008


If I see one more thing about the "man" that had a baby I am going to puke!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Well That Just Sucks!!!!

I found out today that we will not be able to do IVF (in vitro). I went to the Dr. today to see how everything was progressing...the medicine worked and I had about 5 follicles on one side and about 2 on the other BUT there was one follicle with a VERY mature egg that is about ready to be fertilized. The other eggs are a few days behind. If the one mature egg was not there we could let the others mature a little longer and go ahead with the plan but because of the one that is ready to roll we have changed the plan to IUI (intrauterine insemination-artificial insemination). As I sat fighting back tears, the Dr. explained that everything worked the way it should naturally in my body but that the medicine should have 1) produced alot of eggs that matured at the same time and 2) kept me from ovulating too soon...well, it is too soon, that is why we will be doing the IUI on Saturday morning....about 7 days sooner than the projected IVF date.

I am a ball of emotion. I can't believe I have gone through all of this and now we will be doing a procedure that I have already had done twice!!! I lost it with the nurse (crying)...I tried to whisper my feelings so I wouldn't cry but that did not work. How am I supposed to feel positive about this when we have not gotten pregnant in 6 years with 2 IUI's. The Dr. and nurse said that because I was on all of the medicine that my chances are better than when I did the 2 previous IUI's with Clomid only....we'll see! THIS SUCKS!!!!

So, if this does not work, we will start another round of IVF meds, stronger this time, and do the transfer sometime in September. This is all very difficult for a girl who wants immediate gratification with everything. I hate waiting games, I mark everyday on a calendar and count the remaining days. I am so disappointed!

I hope and pray that the IUI works. The Dr. said that considering there are no known problems with either of us that there is no reason it shouldn't work. I reminded her of our previous tries and she said "that's the joy of unknown infertility...there is just no answer".

Wish us luck!


Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Okay, now I am starting to get a little nervous. It's weird....I have been unusually calm. My nature is to dwell, Google everything, think worst case scenario, lay in bed all night thinking...well, you get the point. I have actually been going with the flow. Is it because I have been dealing with this for almost 6 years now?

I have been reading alot on infertilty blogs and have stared at alot of them with a furrowed brow of confusion. These girls use abbreviations, numbers and lingo that I am totally clueless to. Should I know more about what's going on? I know what medicine I am supposed to take, when to get a shot and when to go to the Dr. Am I not consuming myself with every bit of knowledge because I am scared or just too lazy to figure it out? Maybe if I know every detail it will be too real and the thought of disappointment will be more difficult...does that make sense? It's getting more real each day, though...having a needle stuck in me 4 times a day kinda helps with the reality of the situation.

I am so scared this isn't going to work. Because our diagnosis is unknown infertility we have never been given anything to go with...no way to say 'here's the problem, this is what we can do'. What the hell is going on inside of me? Are the sperm not getting to the egg, are they getting there and can't penetrate, do they get in and the egg doesn't make it's way? God, please let this work!


Friday, July 18, 2008

Our Infertilty Get Away!

Ah! We just got back from 5 days in Biloxi....we had a great time! Although we did not walk away big winners...we did walk away even, after 5 days of gambling! We stayed at the Beau Rivage, which was hit by Katrina and closed for a year for repairs...but most people would not know that since apparently only New Orleans deserved media coverage of the disaster!!!!! Needless to say, most residents of the Mississippi Gulf Coast feel slighted...that area was destroyed! Old antebellum homes, historic sights, casinos, the beaches, piers...everything was destroyed or damaged.

The hotel is beautiful! The beach...not so much. There are barrier islands off of the coast which leave the water looking a little murky, like our lovely Galveston beaches. If we had driven about and hour further it would have been completely different in the Alabama Gulf Shores. But, I still got to walk in sand and smell the ocean. We had a view of the pool and ocean and luckily only one storm blew in on our first day....the rest of the trip was sunny and gorgeous. You would think it would be as hot as Houston but it wasn't. The days were hot but not humid and the nights were very comfortable.

The food was AMAZING at Beau Rivage. Seriously, everything we ate was wonderful. Luckily, due to our constant gambling, we were given alot of comp cards for free meals. There was a buffet that was packed full of homemade Southern food, crab legs, pasta station, homemade desserts.....it was so good. Needless to say, the low carb diet did not exist. I couldn't control myself....I would sit down at the table after a trip to the buffet and everything on my plate was a carb. I gained 5 pounds :-( I also had a bit of a reaction to the 3 pills of Glucofage/Metformin that I have to take every night. High carbs and Metformin do not go together. Let's just say it's hard to have a romantic vacation when your body is full of gas 24/7...it SUCKED! Thank God I have no shame and Joe and I hide nothing from each other!

The shots went smoothly...Joe gave them to me every morning, bless his heart. Other than some headaches, all was well with the Lupron. Oddly though, I look very tired and puffy in all of the pictures...I don't know if the meds have anything to do with that. I know one side effect is lack of energy.....but seriously, I look like I have haven't slept in days or like I had been crying for 3 days. So, I am not very fond of the photos but what can ya do! I'm sure the daiquiri's and ice cream didn't help.

One side note on the trip: I met a 71 year old man in the pool. He was at the resort with his MISTRESS!!! He has money, likes to travel, his wife doesn't like to go anywhere, so he has a few girlfriends. I couldn't believe it! And I couldn't help but like him. I have a thing for old people, especially old men and he was so sweet and cute!! I just wish he wasn't a player :-)

So, we are back home. I had a Dr.'s appt. this a.m. I have to up my dose of Lupron to 2 shots a day and start adding 2 more shots of another med and some patches...sounds like next week is going to be a joy!

Joe and I on our first day of much needed vacation!

View from our room on a cloudy day

Joe and I about to eat the most expensive and delicious meal we have ever had

Me and 1 of my 2 allowed alcoholic beverages per week

Joe eating a clam...nasty!

The most delicious homemade ice cream

Joe and I taking the do it yourself photo in front of the Mississippi Sound

Sound asleep

Entrance to the Casino...that's as far in as we were allowed take photo's

The start of the sunburned nose and body. Those were the best daquiris I have ever had...although all but 1 was a virgin.

Our last night..we are sad to leave but ready to get home to our animals!


Saturday, July 12, 2008


Well, this is it...the drugs I will be taking for the next few months! I am overwhelmed. Joe and I stood in the kitchen unwrapping everything from it's insulated packaging, looking confused and a little freaked out. Joe preceded to immediately break down every drug, trying find the needle that corresponds, finding what needs to be refrigerated, reading all of the paperwork....all while I pretended to listen to him but was secretly losing my cool in my head. I am the girl that goes to get blood and can't look....I don't like needles. It does seem as if I will be getting very used to them. I will start my first shot tomorrow.

Now, something interesting about all of these drugs: My co-pay was $240. I asked what the full price was, thinking that I was paying alot, and was told that the insurance company paid $3000!!!! You have no idea how grateful I am to Kraft Foods for caring enough to include fertility treatment coverage in their employees policies. Only a handful of companies even bother to include any coverage and Kraft Foods has provided a plan that will save us about $8,000+!!! Thanks Kraft!!!


Sunday, July 6, 2008

Proud to be an American!

With all of the fuss with the stray dog I didn't get to post my July 4th tribute. So, here it is a few days late!

Words to the song “I’m proud to be an American” by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea,

From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, there’s pride in every American heart,
and it’s time to stand and say:

I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

If you're not proud to be an American then get the hell out! If you're a threat to this country then you must deal with the consequences!

Saturday, July 5, 2008


So, last night Joe and I went to my brothers house to watch fireworks with the niece and nephews. We set out with plans of relaxing, eating some food, enjoying watching the kids have fun but NOOOOOOOOOO, that's not how it worked! We all walked over to their neighbors house and we were only there for about 3 minutes when Joe sees a dog limping by. This dog was the saddest thing I have ever seen.....pretty close to the condition my beloved Crosby was in when I found him. The dog is a poodle/Maltese mix, COVERED in giant mats, we couldn't tell where the dogs ears ended because about 4 inches of matted hair was hanging off of them. She had hair covering one eye...it was actually stuck to her eyeball. She smelled HORRIBLE and had a back leg that was dangling. For those who know me well, you know I was not leaving without helping that poor baby. The neighbors don't know who she belongs to so Joe and I decide to take her home and see what we can do. Surely this dog is an abandoned animal...no collar, dangling leg, disgusting condition.

We get home, Joe puts her in a bucket and bathes her...bless his heart. We cut some mats out, brushed her...she's still awful. She gobbles up turkey like she hasn't eaten in days and paces the yard for hours. Finally, she sits down on the bath mat I put out for her and relaxes. Throughout this ordeal, I sob a few times because of her condition and what may happen to her the next day. Joe is upset, disgusted that someone would let their dog get to this point...it was very stressful.

Well, today Joe drives her all over the North side of Houston trying to find a place that will take her...again, bless his heart...I am so lucky that he cares about animals like I do. he ends up at MC Animal Control and they say they will probably have to put her down. While he is there I call Noah's Ark Animal Sanctuary and the sweetest girl named Stephanie did everything she could to help me. While we were talking some ladies walked in to the shelter, she told them the story, they called their friend who is a vet and the vet agreed to take the dog and do what she can to heal her and find her a home...WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT???? I swear God puts the animals in my path for a reason and those ladies walked into the shelter for a reason. I am so thankful for them, for Stephanie, for the vet and for all the no kill shelters....oh, and again, for Joe :-)

I finish this story with something that is so frustrating to me. My brothers other neighbor has claimed that she was their dog and she got loose during the fireworks. Well, I don't think anyone that treats their animal that way deserves to get them back but apparently, by law, I have to let them know where she is. It amazes me that no signs were put up in the neighborhood, that I didn't get a call till 6:30 the next day.....I am so mad! They claim that they found her 3 years ago and her leg was like that....well, why have they not bothered to BRUSH her or BATHE her...or get the eye infection cleared up, put a collar on her???!!!!! So, the story ends with my brother leaving the owners a message with the vets info and Joe and I are upset by our happy ending's not so happy ending. I am hoping that these people don't even bother going to get her and the vet can take care of her...we'll see.