Martha Stewart, I am not.

So, I will not be making any of the nut wreaths for friends and family. That was a wee bit of an interesting fiasco.....but I did finish it.

The first issue came when I sat down to begin the wreath. I poured all of my walnuts and pecans into a bowl, plugged in the hot glue gun and got out the wreath form. Oh wait...I also have acorns to add to that bowl!! They were in the little pouch attached to the stroller which was in my car...remember, I collected them on some walks with the boys? Anyways, I emptied the acorns into the bowl and there was a little something extra....larvae!!!!!!

God, I almost threw up. There were about 4 fat, white larvae of some sort squirming around in the bowl. Then I found 2 more in the pouch...I now want to burn the stroller and my car. After scooping them out and disposing of them I noticed little holes in some of the acorns....what the hell was in there??????

Well, I got past that incident and continued on with the wreath. I glued nuts to the flat side of the form and was pretty happy with the results. Then, I started adding to the side...not so happy with the results. Damn you Martha!!! Nuts don't stay glued on the side...attached to some thin rim of wood!! I must have re-glued 15 nuts!

Once the rim is covered in nuts I tie the ribbon and proceed to hang it on a wreath hanger...HELLO AMY???? You can't hang that kind of wreath on a hanger without RUINING what is attached!! Nuts started falling...left and right. I would bend down to pick them up and the ones already in my hand would fall back to the ground. It was almost comical.

So, how does this story end? I hung it on a nail inside the house, with a few nuts missing and a strategically placed ribbon hiding a bald spot, all the while hoping the few acorns that remain are vacant.

What's next you ask? Cross stitching ornaments for the boys.

I Love Martha

Funny that a girl with no crafting abilities, who doesn't cook very often and is usually barefoot when she throws a party, is a Martha Stewart fan. I love her magazine and her show. I also love Ana Gasteyer's impersonation of her on SNL..hilarious!!!

As I savored the pages of my November issue the other night I came across a great idea. On page 67 is a little snippet titled "leaves of thanks". It's so simple surely I can't screw it up. All you do is fold some fall colored card stock and cut out leaves. I am going to have my family write down some things they are thankful for on the leaves and then read them during dinner! And a new tradition begins!!

After that simple project I will be moving on to a more difficult one for my level....that being the level at which I can not draw a straight line or step outside of the box.

I am going to make a wreath out of nuts. Yep...you'll see!! I already started collecting acorns on my walks with the boys and I had my husband collect some walnuts and pecans at Kroger's while picking up milk. I bought the wreath form at Michael's and have a hot glue gun that has never been used.

I have high hopes for this wreath....I expect it to last until my boys go to college. You see, when I was a kid in Alabama my dad collected pine cones from our backyard and made the most beautiful, giant wreath. It hung every year above our fireplace. It made it through moves to Texas, Massachusetts, Florida and California...with a few touch ups here and there.

A few years ago my dad threw it away...such a sentimental old guy! I can't believe he did it!!! My mom said it had fallen apart and was not worth repairing! I am sad. Now a wreath from Lowe's stares down at you in my parents living room...sigh. So, it is my goal to create a wreath that will hold memories for my boys and hang somewhere in our home till the last nut is standing!

Stayed tuned to see if my wreath turns out like this: