Monday, November 23, 2009

Martha Stewart, I am not.

So, I will not be making any of the nut wreaths for friends and family. That was a wee bit of an interesting fiasco.....but I did finish it.

The first issue came when I sat down to begin the wreath. I poured all of my walnuts and pecans into a bowl, plugged in the hot glue gun and got out the wreath form. Oh wait...I also have acorns to add to that bowl!! They were in the little pouch attached to the stroller which was in my car...remember, I collected them on some walks with the boys? Anyways, I emptied the acorns into the bowl and there was a little something extra....larvae!!!!!!

God, I almost threw up. There were about 4 fat, white larvae of some sort squirming around in the bowl. Then I found 2 more in the pouch...I now want to burn the stroller and my car. After scooping them out and disposing of them I noticed little holes in some of the acorns....what the hell was in there??????

Well, I got past that incident and continued on with the wreath. I glued nuts to the flat side of the form and was pretty happy with the results. Then, I started adding to the side...not so happy with the results. Damn you Martha!!! Nuts don't stay glued on the side...attached to some thin rim of wood!! I must have re-glued 15 nuts!

Once the rim is covered in nuts I tie the ribbon and proceed to hang it on a wreath hanger...HELLO AMY???? You can't hang that kind of wreath on a hanger without RUINING what is attached!! Nuts started falling...left and right. I would bend down to pick them up and the ones already in my hand would fall back to the ground. It was almost comical.

So, how does this story end? I hung it on a nail inside the house, with a few nuts missing and a strategically placed ribbon hiding a bald spot, all the while hoping the few acorns that remain are vacant.

What's next you ask? Cross stitching ornaments for the boys.



Blogger ACR said...

Awww, it looks very nice -- and think of the memory attached to it now each time you look at it. :)

Well done!!!

November 24, 2009 at 6:51 AM  
Blogger Adriane said...

LOL! I think it looks great!

November 24, 2009 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I think it looks great!

November 24, 2009 at 1:07 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

Amy, it looks great.
I left an award for you on my blog

November 24, 2009 at 2:59 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

It looks beautiful anyways... and that Martha always makes things look so much easier than they actually are. (Yes, Damn you Martha!) And the Larvae incident was hilarious and DISGUSTING all at the same time! I feel for you girly!

November 24, 2009 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Deanna said...

oh my, this story cracked me up! I can just picture it all! It does look pretty good in that picture...if you just don't think about larvae.

November 24, 2009 at 9:38 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Wow, after reading the story I wasn't expecting it to look so good. Way to go!

Martha kinda bugs me, her stuff is waaaay too hard. How about the Martha episode I watched in college when she dipped leaves from her yard into gold tinted chocolate? You couldn't even eat them. I was 90% done with her after that episode. However, I will admit I tried to get tickets to her show in NYC for December and I like her line at Macy's.

I don't even know what a larvae is but I have the chills thinking about it. Gross, that's why I stay in the house, not larvae in here just amazing A.C. and television. :)

November 24, 2009 at 11:30 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Your wreath came out gorgeous despite what you say...and Martha Schmartha! She makes everything look & sound so easy. WHATEVS!

November 25, 2009 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

it does look gorgeous....

and yes, I would love some sleep input!

November 26, 2009 at 5:39 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

You asked where I went... where did you go? :) Miss you and your humorous/adorable babyboy blogs!!

December 2, 2009 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger midnight macaroons said...

I'm laughing so hard I almost cried. I thought this happened to only me. Years ago I attempted to make Valentine's she had published in her magazine. After cleaning a cloud of glitter (not the easiest to clean), a paper cut to my hand, and a 3rd degree burn (hot glue gun), I decided to throw it all away and ate an entire bag of chocolate myself. Damn Martha Stewart!

I do love your wreath! So pretty. And the larvae thing, I can so relate to wanting to burn the stroller and the car. LOL!

December 3, 2009 at 11:38 AM  

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