Friday, August 22, 2008

Friend Therapy

This month's girls night consisted of a little pampering for Amy thanks to my friend Jill. I went out, spent a bunch of money on house decorations, got an unexpected present, ate some yummy food and laughed with friends.

I picked Jill up on Saturday night and when she got in the car she had a present for sweet...I LOVE presents! She wrote the nicest card about looking forward to things when you are down about something. And the girliest girl I know reminded me that college football is starting and that I should look forward to that. Now, this is a girl who couldn't care less about football....I am impressed that she even knew the season was about to start. Funny story about my friend Jill and football....she came to a bar with me to watch an Alabama game (amazing), she wore an Alabama hat (even more amazing) and yelled Roll Tide! I was so impressed. Jill wears a dress everyday, loves Hello Kitty and all things girly. Well, we are sitting there screaming and yelling (I of course am peeing in my pants...that's another story) and Jill looks at Joe and I and says, "Why don't they just call it what it is, starting before you are supposed to. Why do they call it a falling star?" Holy shit it was classic! Her big blue eye's looking all confused as we explained, "It's a FALSE START"! So cute!

Anyways, bless her heart, she got me dessert plates from Williams and Sonoma with pictures of vintage football players (and a cheerleader) on them! I LOVE them!!! She quickly pointed out that the color of the plates is Alabama's color and that I can eat on them while I watch a game! Thank you Jill...I absolutely adore them!!!

After opening my wonderful gift, we went to Home Goods and spent 3 hours shopping. Jill is an amazing decorator...I mean seriously, she is awesome! She spent the whole 3 hours helping me break free of my neutrals and symmetry only decorating style and picked things out to make some changes in my house.

We switched out my cream towels in my bathroom for navy blue. The walls are brown so of course I thought only cream would look good but the navy looks awesome! Then, we bought 3 huge apothecary jars for my counter. I filled one with specialty soap (I love unique soap), one with cotton balls and the other will be filled with sea sponges. I de-cluttered and added 1 large rug in the middle of the floor instead of the standard bath mats in front of the tub and looks freakin awesome!!

We bought a bargain of a lamp for the kitchen bar, some pillows and throws, and some beautiful books. I will post a few pictures of the makeover.....the bathroom pictures will come after I fill my last jar :-)

Wrapping up the night...we went out to dinner where 2 of Jill's friends, Randy and Mark, met up with us. We ate, had some drinks, ate more and basically got kicked out when the restaurant turned the fans off and it seems like the air as well. I had a great time. And, thanks again Dr. Mark for treating us to dinner!

My football plates

One of my giant jars...who knew 3 would look so good together!

Jill and I

Me with some eye candy...Randy and Mark :-)

My $34 lamp!

The decluttered used to be packed with pictures

Pretty pillows

My bookshelf that Jill re arranged. She took the covers off of my photography books and it looks so much better!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

So Me, So Not Me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

So me

So not me

Saturday, August 16, 2008

My Final Last Hurrah?

I've said it a thousand times.....this is my last hurrah before the diet. I will consider the rest of the weekend my chance to get all my favs out of the way before Monday comes. I hate Mondays!

Tonight we went out to dinner with our friends Karen and Jim. I've known Karen for about 13 years and her husband and I are both animal loving, ex 80's metal heads, so it's usually a good time when we hang out. We went to an Italian restaurant called Raul's where I preceded to pig out. I helped myself to SEVERAL pieces of bread, ordered Dr. Pepper (no diet), had a half a plate of lasagna and then...ordered Creme' Brule...but wait, then I order a Cannoli to go...I couldn't decide between the 2 and I have to have my comfort :-)

On a side note, I have to tell y'all about one of my pet peeves and an example from tonight. I HATE ill-behaved children and the parents that let them act that way. I have no patience for brats. As we tried to get to our table a child was running around his table blocking the pathway....annoying. But the most unbelievable part is when the waitress was taking our order, the kid (about6 years old) walked up to her and shoved his cup in her face for a re-fill!!!! His parents did NOTHING!!!! We were took everything to not get up, drag that kid outside and teach him some manners. In addition to this incident, we went to a movie last night and a couple thought it would be best to annoy everyone paying money to see a movie by bringing their 1 year old!!!! Come on people!!! That's just RUDE!!! That freakin kid cried for half the movie till the jackass parent finally got up and stood by the door where the cries just echoed through the hallway! I was pissed!! Parents....leave your kid at home when you go to a movie unless it is a children's movie.

Since I am on a rant...let me continue with 'Things I will not do when I have kids'

1. I will not let my kids call adults by their first name. There will always be a Mr./Mrs./Ms. before the first or last name. To this day I still have trouble calling friends of my parents by just their name.

2. I will never let my kid walk around a store barefoot...I see it everyday.

3. I will not buy my kids a toy because they are crying for it. I will not get them a treat to stop them from being a brat. I see this everyday...rewarding bad behavior.

4. I will not take my child to an adult party...nobody wants to watch what they say or do while they are having a good time.

5. And...I will not take my kid to the movies unless it is rated G!!!!!!!

Now....some may say this could come back to haunt me.....I doubt it.

Okay....whew....I'm done.
Karen and I

Joe, me, Karen and Jim

Joe and I

Friday, August 15, 2008

My Vacation

Well...nothing exciting has happened this week except starting my period...oh joy!!! Now I wait till next month to start the pill and then October to start injections again. In the mean time...for the 12th time, I plan on starting my low carb (not no carb) diet and going back to the gym next week. It is hard to diet...especially when you are depressed. I don't smoke or drink so my comfort is food, and contrary to what most people say, exercising does not release endorphins in me, it does not relax me, it does not relieve my stress. So, what's a girl to do? She could shop. But we need money for treatments. She could smoke. I can't stand cigarettes. She could do recreational drugs. They're illegal and not good for reproduction....sigh. She could drink. It's not worth the hangover. She could eat. Ding, ding, ding...we have a winner!!!

Seriously though, I went balls to the wall when I first started the low carb diet and started in Phase 1 of the South Beach carbs at all. That almost killed me. The Dr. said to start in Phase 3 (she recommends this to ALL IVF patients), eating whole grains and whole wheat......I suppose I can handle that for 3 months...I better look DAMN good when those 3 months are up!!

So, the rest of my week has been spent swimming, dinner with a friend, lunch with my daddy, dinner and a movie with my sis in law, dinner and a movie with Joe, shopping and hanging out with family. I included a few pictures from the night my niece and nephew slept over...other than that, I didn't take any pictures...very unlike me.

My handsome boy Crosby

My beautiful girl Sadie and my niece

The Pooh's and Uncle Joe

Aunt Amy

One of our 3 cats sleeping on daddy

My niece making me a PlayDoh breakfast in bed...she's so cute

The Results

Monday, August 11, 2008


It's official, I am one pissed off woman. So, I take the test on Sat. a.m. and get a negative result. I go all weekend without starting my period and guess what....I began to have hope again...Damn you stupid girl!!!! I should have known better! I called the Dr. and they informed me that I probably would not start my period until I quit taking the hormones they had me on....wish I knew that all weekend!!! So, I stopped them today and I have started spotting....what a bitch this all is!

On top of that I had my niece and nephew sleep over last night which means I got to have a little taste of having a family for about a day. As I grilled hot dogs and they played with Uncle Joe I thought....maybe...could I be....I want kid hugs....curious questions....night time back for them to look back at warmly.....WAKE UP AMY!!!!!

So, thank God I took a week of vacation this week...anticipating absolute elation or oh so familiar let down. I took the kids to Target, had some Icee's, dropped them off with their mom and headed to Barnes and Noble where I spent an hour perusing the infertility/motherhood section. I walked out with 3 books...I hope they get me pregnant...haha! Actually I hope they give me more insight, more answers, more comfort...whatever.


Saturday, August 9, 2008


Well, I have been let down for the 70th time. That's right, since October 2002 I have been reminded every month that I am not pregnant. However, after a fertility procedure it is particularly difficult...this is why I put off IVF for so long. It's much easier to handle not being pregnant when you have not put all your hopes into medical intervention.

I wonder what it's like to see a positive pregnancy test. And, why must my eyes (or my heart) always play tricks on me....I swear I see a positive sign in the window, but after staring at it for 5 minutes it's just one flat line. I prepared myself...I was ready for the let down. But that didn't keep me from laying in bed all night thinking about what if' I would tell people, what baby things I wanted to buy, when my due date would be. I better start my period today or I am going to be one pissed off woman. If I have to wait a few more days there will be that glimmer of hope....the universe setting you up for a second round of disappointment...I've been there before. This Sucks!

Last time we spoke, the Dr. said she wanted me to take a month off to give my body a break, start the Birth Control Pill next month and then the injections and IVF in October.....I can't believe I have to wait 3 more months.

I am going back to bed now....I feel sick.


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

3 more days

I am supposed to take a home prego test on Saturday...I really want to do it tomorrow but I won't...yes I I won't...aahhhh!!! This sucks! After 2 failed IUI's I am firmly convinced that this one did not work. However, I am still wondering if every little thing is a positive sign and it's making me insane. I have felt my boobs more in the last week than one woman should. They are sore...but isn't that a sign of my period coming OR pregnancy? What a funny little twist...most symptoms could be either.

I woke up this morning with a really upset husband pats my belly and says "It's morning sickness!" sweet and possibly so wrong! I suspect the upset was the taco's with onion....maybe I'm wrong. But, a girl knows these her body works, what it feels like before your period comes and I just have that feeling. Please Saturday...hurry!!! I am tired up being terrified of what I might see everytime I go to the bathroom...that's it, I am taking the test I'm not...damn it!!!


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A link to the accident


Monday, August 4, 2008

Life's Too Short

Yesterday, my family received horrible news. My cousin Bonnie and her husband Bob Post were on their boat with some friends when another boat hit them and then fled the scene. Bob was killed and Bonnie is in the hospital with severe injuries. This is awful. I can't even believe this has happened. I hope to God the police find the pathetic piece of shit that hit a boat and drove off....not even knowing they had killed a father of 2.

This guy was so full of life...and I know that sounds so cliche' but seriously, he was one of the most laid back, cool, funny, active guys I know. My oldest memory of him was when I was 10 years old and he and my cousin took my brother and I swimming at his condo and then to a water park. I remember I thought he was so funny and cute when I was a little kid. My last memory with him was last summer when we had a family reunion in The Keys. We were all drinking and playing games one night and he and my other cousins husband and his daughter were sitting on the couch, the 2 guys with beers in hand, singing their hearts out to Phantom of the Opera....laying their heads on my 16 year old second cousins was adorable.

I am so sad for my cousin, for Bob's family, for Bob's 2 kid should have to deal with something this tragic. It's times like this when the reality of how short your life can be just comes up and slaps you in the face.


Singing Phantom with his niece

The cousins

My cousin Bonnie is on the far right. The 2 other girls in the photo are her sister's..thank God she has them.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Karen has a pool...Yippie!!!!

Well....I did it. I put on a bathing suit and got in a pool with people who can see. It was a big move. I arrived in jeans and a t-shirt with my suit first thought was to get into the pool fully clothed and undress under the water. Upon arrival around 9 pm, I was overjoyed to see that all of the lights were out in the pool and only one light was on in the patio (due to the swarms of mosquito's that love the 100% humidity in Houston). I walked to the side of the pool (the darkest and farthest side), wrapped in my towel, stood for awhile going over the game plan in my head, then dropped it and was painless.

I had a much needed good time last night. There is nothing better than floating around a pool at night, with friends and a sky full of stars. I made a new friend, Jennifer, who is a girl after my own heart. She is the shit! She had me laughing for about 4 hours straight...I had a few minor bladder leaks and alot of uncontrollable coughing from all of the laughter. Thanks Jennifer for your humor!

And, thanks Karen and Jim for putting a pool in your awesome backyard and sharing it with friends!