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It's official, I am one pissed off woman. So, I take the test on Sat. a.m. and get a negative result. I go all weekend without starting my period and guess what....I began to have hope again...Damn you stupid girl!!!! I should have known better! I called the Dr. and they informed me that I probably would not start my period until I quit taking the hormones they had me on....wish I knew that all weekend!!! So, I stopped them today and I have started spotting....what a bitch this all is!
On top of that I had my niece and nephew sleep over last night which means I got to have a little taste of having a family for about a day. As I grilled hot dogs and they played with Uncle Joe I thought....maybe...could I be....I want this...family....little kid hugs....curious questions....night time back rubs....pictures for them to look back at warmly.....WAKE UP AMY!!!!!
So, thank God I took a week of vacation this week...anticipating absolute elation or oh so familiar let down. I took the kids to Target, had some Icee's, dropped them off with their mom and headed to Barnes and Noble where I spent an hour perusing the infertility/motherhood section. I walked out with 3 books...I hope they get me pregnant...haha! Actually I hope they give me more insight, more answers, more comfort...whatever.
On top of that I had my niece and nephew sleep over last night which means I got to have a little taste of having a family for about a day. As I grilled hot dogs and they played with Uncle Joe I thought....maybe...could I be....I want this...family....little kid hugs....curious questions....night time back rubs....pictures for them to look back at warmly.....WAKE UP AMY!!!!!
So, thank God I took a week of vacation this week...anticipating absolute elation or oh so familiar let down. I took the kids to Target, had some Icee's, dropped them off with their mom and headed to Barnes and Noble where I spent an hour perusing the infertility/motherhood section. I walked out with 3 books...I hope they get me pregnant...haha! Actually I hope they give me more insight, more answers, more comfort...whatever.
Labels: Infertility
7 Comments:
This weekend we are going to do something FUN and FABULOUS! I love, love, love changing things in my house. It gives me a new, fresh feeling. We'll add some decorations to your house (just a bit) and give you something to feel happy about!!! I know it's not the same but I hope it makes you happy! Buying new furniture or re-decorating always helps me feel a little happy when I'm in a funk!
One more thing... I know you will use all these events in your life to help others someday. You are such an encourager and motivator!!!
You will be the coolest mom someday and no matter how you become a parent, I know you will take all the things you are going through now and help so many women!
I agree with Jill, you will be a great mommy someday. Here's hoping IVF in October and that should result in a healthy, beautiful July baby.
Oh yes, I am having some sicknes with this one. But just a little nausea here and there. Considering with my youngest son I lost 10 pounds in the first trimester and threw up every day for 9 months, this is cake. (lol)
Hey there! I found your blog from your comments on mine ;-)
I haven't read through all of your posts yet, but I just wanted to say hi and that I'm sorry about your BFN. I hear ya on how much harder it is to get a negative after a procedure rather than a "regular" on.
And I will be experiencing the whole "instant family" thing this weekend as well. DH's nieces are coming into town for the weekend - should be fun - and tiring - and...
And finally, thanks for reading my blog!
Hey Amy~Glad you are off this week!
Hey, a book that was helpful for us was called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm not sure if it was one of your purchases. But, I thought I would share.
Mis :)
Hey Amy~Glad you are off this week!
Hey, a book that was helpful for us was called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm not sure if it was one of your purchases. But, I thought I would share.
Mis :)
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