Ahhhh!

I feel somewhat normal again! I had some carbs today but kept it low...within my allotted 100. It made for a much easier day and a much happier Amy.

Okay, so the next step before the IVF will be several appts and meds/shots. I will start taking a drug called Lupron in July...I posted some of the possible side effects below, take special note of side effect #5!!

1.hot flashes or sweating;
2.decreased libido or impotence;
3.lack of energy;
4.depression;
5.breast enlargement
6.nausea or vomiting;
7.constipation;
8.weakness;
9.dizziness;
10.headache; or
11.redness, burning, itching, or swelling at the injection site.

JUST WHAT I NEED!!!! Bigger boobs! Oh Lordy! And to top all of that off, we are possibly going to take a little trip to Beau Rivage while I am doing the shots (that is if I don't have an appt. every other day),so I am hoping none of those side effects occur! Unfortunately, I couldn't get any days off from work earlier than that!

This trip is much needed. We have been trying to get pregnant for 5.5 years!!! Unless you have gone through it you have no idea what an emotional toll that will take on a woman and a couple. I so love all of my friends and family who have been empathetic and sympathetic throughout the years! This step that we are taking is HUGE for us! It is exciting, terrifying, nerve racking, confusing, and the list goes on. I want to share all of it.....even if things don't work out because I know I will want and need my friends and family regardless of the outcome.

I have been reading a bunch of blogs about infertility and it's like taking a trip into my head. All of the post's about the things that make me squirm the most, that irritate me the most.....that confuse me the most....it's almost a relief to see these feelings from other people. Perfect example: About a year ago, I was at a party and I actually stood in the kitchen while some girl cried to me about not being able to get pregnant for the THIRD TIME!!! Are you serious??? She had 2 kids, no problem, and lost it cause she had tried for 6 months for a third. I consoled her, told her it could be worse, etc....then got home and screamed. You would be surprised how many similar stories I have read! Now, I understand that some one's pain is all relative to what they are going through..that is why I will always be kind, if not sarcastically funny, while I am in these situations...I would never be mean. But COME ON!!!!! Another memorable moment: I was the designated driver 2 New Year's Eve's ago and one of my friends in the car was playing with my hair from the backseat. A friend of ours girlfriend proceeded to yell at her to "stop messing with Amy while she is driving...I have a 2 year old"! I guess it doesn't matter if the rest of us get in a car wreck since we don't have any children. Oh, people make me laugh.

After 5 years you get used to the fact that everyone you know will get pregnant at the same time (currently 3 neighbors and 3 friends wives), that you will run into young girls at Walmart CONSTANTLY who are the worst example of a parent, that even though you have a good job, are married and can support a child financially and emotionally you can't get pregnant. You get used to hearing people say God has a plan (What is it, exactly?), if it's meant to be..., you're trying too hard, stop trying, the list goes on. I appreciate everyone's advice and theories...I truly do. It means they care enough to try and make you feel better (as long as it's a positive thought or theory..haha). I just wish it were all that simple.

Okay, enough of that for now. I must get in bed, read one of the 47 magazines stacked up on the floor and drift off into a sleep filled with wild dreams. Oh wait, I just had a good chuckle. I just heard Joe shout "Sexual Chocolate"...he's watching Coming to America. Now I will go to bed....and dream of McDowell's cheeseburgers.